just kicked this dude so hard his worms came out
eleventh plague. emails.
Pharoah, I hope this email finds you letting my people go
as per my last plague,
Kitten ill be honest daddy is not interested in pursuing a career in the field in which he is getting his degree
Ares in Mythology:
- Kills the guy who tried to assault his daughter and refused to apologize for it when he got put on trial (it was ruled justifiable homicide by Athena btw).
- The only time he’d been captured in battle was when he was protecting his mom from being captured by giants who wanted to forcibly marry her.
- Found and Freed Thanatos when he was imprisoned by Sisyphus when no other Gods could
- Helps found the Amazons by helping their founder escape her abusive husband and becomes their patron God.
- Genuinely loves and respects Aphrodite as her own person
- One of his epithets is “feasted by women”.
Ares in Modern Media:
- Meatheaded sexist asshole out of an eighties teen movie.
Conclusion: My boy is getting done dirtier than Hades in modern representation. Ares is one of the least problematic Gods in the pantheon (except for the murders, I will grant you) and ya’ll are sleeping on him.
★ 【唏嘘的星辰】 「 Tears of the Kingdom 」 ☆
✔ republished w/permission
⊳ ⊳ follow me on twitter
i have no object permanence about myself. if i’m not in anyones eye sight i assume i have ceased to be. finding out people remember i exist, think about me, and even talk about me when i’m not actively in front of them is startling news every time it is brought to my attention
*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?
easily a contender for post of the decade